I'm so sorry to let you guys know (as requested by her) that unfortunately Tracey's mother died this morning (UK time) from her illness.

She obviously won't be around for a while but I reckon that she'll appreciate reading your messages.

We're all here for you honey.



XXX♥

I´m so sorry to hear this... You know Tracey that we´re here for you, and if there´s anything that I can do for you just say it.

Big hugs!!!!!

I'm so sorry Tracey to hear the news.
But you know that everyone is here for you!!
If you need anything, let me know.
I wish you my best!!
xx Hugs xx

ohh

I'm so sorry Tracey! I know exactely the feeling. I lost my father last year...
we're here for you. we all know it will take some time for you to put your head and feelings in order.

I don't know what else to say...when I was on your side I didn't know what I wanted to hear...

anything you need!

all the love,

Carolina

big, big hug!
xxx

ooooh no..! i don't know what to say, tracey we only know each.other in the forum but you have all my support, I really feel sad for you....if you need something just let me know, I'm here for everything you may need...but i think in these times we can't do much ! with all my respect , a kiss and all my support .

Tom

Ohh Tracey, really sorry to hear that

*hugs*

Ohh, well I'm not too good with this kind of messages, but of course i'm sending u the biggest hug to you Tracey from here!!! You already know that we are here for you, dear!!!

millions of and kisses.

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to say thank you for the support. As you can imagine things have been very difficult this past week.

I felt I was ok to post now though.

The funeral is on Thursday, so that will be a hard day for me.

Thanks again,

Tracey x

Glad to see you back hon.

And I'm sure the Munchkin's apparition on here had a lot to do with it!

We're all here for you babe.

Love ya,

XXX♥

It's great you are all there for me I'm a bit up and down at the moment.

Seeing JC post may have had a tiny little bit to do with me reappearing!

Hey Tracey. It's good to see you back here and hear from you. I hope you're doing alright, but as Anyz has said, we're all here for you if you need anything at all. I know it might not feel like it now, but you're gonna get through this and be alright. If you wanna talk, I'm definitely here for ya, hon!

Tracey....so sorry to hear the news. You and your family are in my thoughts! *big hugs*

Tracey, you have all my support.

If you need to talk, we're all here! Sometimes it's good to keep our mind out of the problems for some time.

Hugs and be strong!

Once again, thank you to everyone.

Believe it or not, posting on here is a good distraction!

We´ll try to distract you as much as possible, and try to be with you anytime you need it... This is a community and you know, we all support each other in good times as well in bad times.
I´m so happy to have you back posting, and like everyone else said, if you need something... We are here for you!!!

I'm glad to see you posting! I decided too when it was my father.

I cannot be sad when I knew he didn't me to be. in fact it's almost impossible to feel sad because I always remember him as a funny and crazy man.

don't give up, post here!

anything just ask

love,
xx

JAMIE WAS HERE?

damn university....gosh I always miss it!


sorry for the off-topic!

We held the funeral on Thursay, it was a nice service/burial and then we held the wake afterwards.

It was all abit of a blur for me and was of course a sad day, it's the learning to move on which I have to deal with next.

just hold, ok dear?

we're all here.

these days try to occupy your head. I know this sounds a stupid thing to say, btu when my father died I went to school and tried to avoid his things. listen to some soft songs, but not too sad

it was what I did :/

big hug,

c a r o l .
xxxxx

I think i'm finding it hard to talk to people outside close relatives and friends, and if I see someone that I don't know will know mum died, I avoid them because it's too painful to keep repeating it and then explaining what happened.

well Tracey I know it's difficult.

my father had been sick for 5 or more years.
the treatement was very painful. he lost a lot of weight, his chronicle diseases got worst and he lost some of the movements.

he made it through the end and the doctor even said he wasn't so healthy for 4 years. he even considered not having the transplant.

at the same time, my father continued studying (he finished his degree 6 months befored dying), he started driving again and he was evening making some tests to start doing some exercise (with medical attention).

on the 27th January 2007 he died of lungs failure while he was sleeping. he was about to publish a book and continue his studies.

he died on friday, the last time I saw him was on wednesday and I didn't phone home during that time. he was mad at me because at the time I didn't had decided yet what course I would take on university.

when he died was incapable of remembering how sad I was to grow up with my parents separated, about the fraud someone made to his company, about the girfriend he had and with whom I was obliged to live with when I was with him...

he was a very intelligent man, but above all he was a funny funny man. when he died I just could remember the stupid and crazy things he did. about the jokes, about the games, about the stories. he died when he won the last battle, and that is never ever fair.

I knew he would die young, but not so soon.

so...yes...at the beginning you avoid, but then you think of the good things and you talk with pride and with your heart open.


c a r o l .
xx

Did you know he was going to die or was it a shock?

I'm not sure if knowing or not makes it 'easier' though.

Although my mum had many health problems she had always overcome them but then she fell ill rather suddenly (as she was fine one minute and ill the next), she then spent 7 weeks in hospital. Even then I think we still expected her to be fine and recover. Then she died, and the worst part was none of us were there. (she had been transferred to a hospital 25 miles away.)

I now think we were either in denile or the doctors weren't telling us how bad it was.

The positive thing I guess is that she's no longer in pain, but I just wish she was still here. It still doesn't seem real, one day I was talking to her and the next I was told i'd never be able to talk to her again.

There's so many things you wish you had said, and I need to try and get over that feeling.

Well in my case, I've never said goodbye to my grandma, when my brother told me i was sad and mad with myself because i wasn' t able to say goodbye and tell how much i love her. But well, as Tracey said they are in no pain now.

Hugss girlss!!!!

I think deep down I know that whether I said goodbye or not, mum did know how much we all loved her and how much she meant to us all.

I was shocked because we could see that he was very healthy at the time! he was improving a lot.

he always said he would never live longer, but we expected him to live for more 6 or 10 years...not 2 months.


I guess by saying that several times he was preparing us to what could happen.

Sometimes I think I am glad we don't know what is around the corner, ignorance is definitely bliss!

definitely!

My dad was telling me he keeps having dreams (nightmares maybe?) in which mum is fine, so then he has to relive it all again when he wakes up. I myself have only had a couple of dreams about mum and I always force myself awake.

I guess it's just part of the mourning process?

Tracey, the biggest thing i learned when i lost my dad, was that what you feel, what you think and what you do is ok, there is no right or wrong, everyone is different, but yes, I dreamt about my dad the once, and maybe another time or so since and its been 14 years, you never stop missing them or wanting them to be around, we just learn to live with how we feel and adjust................... its all very early days for you, so you just do what you want or need to do, its fine, just dont not deal or not face it all, that usually comes back and bites you on the bum even harder

yes, my dear.

you're still updating your feelings, it's all too new. last time I dreamt my dad was alive after all.
when I woke up I knew it wasn't possible. it has been almost two years.

I prefer to think I have good memories to share, things that somehow doesn't make me feel sad.

you'll get used, because there is no other way. but you will find your ways to think about your mum without getting hurt

big kiss Tracey,
xx

Thanks Phoenix and Carol, it helps to hear how other people have coped etc.

It's weird, you see this sort of thing on tv and films but when it happens to you then you aren't really sure what to you.

We are starting to try and get back to nomral, my dad will return to work at the end of the week, i've got a course to go on for 3 days this week and i've just organsied to re-start my driving lessons.

It might help to be busier.

tracey :')